2021: New Year, New Goals, New Perspective
Let's face it--2020 was a dumpster fire. We can certainly look back and find both good things and bad things to remember, but I think it's safe to say many of us will be glad to see 2020 in the rearview mirror. While I'm thankful I didn't fare as bad as some people (I still have a job, a home, my health, etc), I can say that 2020 took me off the rails creatively. I had a story brewing, but I just couldn't find my usual drive to make it happen. Part of me is disappointed in myself, for letting "life stuff" push my creative flow to a slow simmer on the back burner. After all, I made the promise to myself that it was time to focus on the projects I wanted to pursue now that my children are both out of high school.
But how do you do that when you're feeling emotionally drained all the time? When your energy levels are so low that "life stuff" consumes all of them? Get up, go to work, come home, eat-sleep-repeat and there's nothing much left. I had good days and bad days in 2020, of course, but I hardly accomplished any of the goals I'd set for myself, and that stings. Mental illness can be a bugger, whether it's battling your own demons or trying to chase away someone else's. Life is a fucking battlefield sometimes, and yet we find a way to persist, don't we?
So here I am, back to blogging for the first time in a long time. I can always tell when I'm coming out of a rut, because suddenly I find perspective and hope. No I didn't finish that next book, and no I didn't sell millions of copies of my existing book, but you know what? I got some stellar reviews and feedback on my work and made it as a finalist in a contest. I've realized what I want my work to be, and have a better understanding of who I think my audience is. I also had a creative epiphany that links my second story to my first book, which is making me super excited to finish writing it. Finally, I feel like there's something to look forward to and a clear path to get there.
Happy New Year, everyone!